As promised, everyone, tonight we have a guest author for our main story: Tony Kulenovic. He played Nobody during this year’s AMS Presidential election and also just released a move called Assorted Heroes: Road Trip! I don’t know what he’ll be writing about so… over to you Tony! [note: links in Tony’s section were added by me]

Good Evening, Colony! Or Swarm! Or Hive! Not sure what the fanbase is called here!

So I’m writing the Nightly Buzz tonight. Yay! I’m Tony, for those who don’t know. Tony Kulenovic. The guy who ran as Nobody in the AMS elections. That guy.

I wasn’t planning on talking about my movie here but I will self-advertise to start off because I’ve never written a newsletter before and especially not one as prestigious and highly-acclaimed as the Nightly Buzz. I made a movie! It came out yesterday on my YouTube channel Stupid Monkey Comics (which is a super cool channel to subscribe to…*eyes emoji*) and I’m super proud of how it turned out, so go check it out if you’re into comedies or superheroes or feminist satire written by men (I promise I consulted like at least one woman while writing). It’s called Assorted Heroes: Road Trip. We premiered it last night and it was a super fun experience all around! Quyen (Barry “Bee” Buzzword themself) and Eve (u/sasamats) both pulled up to the premiere (along with their partners, shoutout Lily and Hayden) and allegedly loved the film. But enough bragging, let’s get on to the more important stuff. 

After days, no, weeks of waiting, I finally got my Barry “Bee” Buzzword posters today. I can’t wait to proudly display them on my bedroom wall after finishing this newsletter. I love them. I wish that AMS elections allowed the full $750 budget to be spent on artists because I want more. 

I usually have a lot to say but I’m blanking on topics right now, so I’ll talk about the only thing that comes to mind.

RDJ and the Russo brothers are about to ruin the MCU

If you don’t care about Marvel, feel free to skip this part. If you do care about Marvel, feel free to skip this part. 

I personally think that the stupidest decision a studio can make when casting in a cinematic universe is using the same actor for two GIANT roles. So of course when they announced RDJ being cast as Doctor Doom last year, I absolutely hated it. RDJ is a fine actor, but is there really no one else out there? Like there’s 8 billion people on this planet and you couldn’t find someone else to play this character? There are so many fantastic actors who could’ve played this role but you HAD to go and cast the man who’s already been the face of this universe for a decade? I understand that both RDJ and the Russo brothers are going broke without their Marvel money since they can’t find success anywhere else, but I’m sure the millions they’ve accumulated over the years can save them from starvation.

It unfortunately all boils down to Avengers: Endgame, a film I loved and enjoyed because of how epic of a crossover it was and how full of references and fan service it was. Sure, the movie isn’t anything special when viewed as a standalone (as my friend Hannah Seaton of Seaton Vape loves to point out) but it was fun! The problem stems from the whiny “fans” and capitalism. 

After Endgame, people whined and complained about everything Marvel put out. “Women?! In a movie?! People of colour?! Gay?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? GRRR, this is inaccurate to the comics I never read!!!!”. Of course, people will always complain. Dumbasses tend to be very loud. The problem is that Marvel listened to the complaints. Or rather, listened to the money. Since Endgame, Marvel’s biggest hits have been “Spider-Man: No Way Home” and “Deadpool and Wolverine”, the two most overrated films in the MCU. The writing and plots aren’t really great BUT fan service! Nostalgia! They brought back the guy everyone hated as Spider-Man! They brought back the guy who can’t act that everyone loved as Spider-Man! They brought back the guy who never appeared as his character before but youknowhowlonghebeenwaitinfordis? He made a name for himself here!

As much as I love seeing cameos from characters and actors who’ve been in Marvel movies outside of the MCU, it shouldn’t be the new standard for making “good” movies. But they made them money. So of course they won’t stop with them. Time for the multiverse to get milked more than a man in speedos surrounded by other men in speedos! 

I love the X-Men movies. I’m a huge X-Men fan. But WHY do we need half the cast of X-Men to be brought back, in what seems to be major roles, in Avengers: Doomsday? Alan Cumming is 60 years old. Please explain to me how this man is going to teleport around and fight with the agility of a teenager. Nightcrawler is one of my favourite characters, and Alan Cummin was great as him, but in what universe is this version of Nightcrawler going to be any good? I hope I’m wrong, I really do, but I doubt I will be. 

What also disappoints me is that Marvel has to go and spoil that these people are in the movie years before it’s even released. Part of the fun of seeing these characters return is that they’re surprise cameos! No one will cheer in the audience when James Marsden shows up and uses his laser eyes to deny the claims of SA victims, because everyone knows he’s going to be there. Bringing back characters for nostalgia is fun in a small role or as a surprise, but having them as part of the main cast is a terrible decision.

All that being said, I will of course be watching Avengers: Doomsday on opening night. I just like to complain.

I Hate Capitalism

While I’m already complaining about the film industry, I’d like to complain about Disney and Pixar’s very recent announcement of Coco 2. 

Coco is my absolute favourite Pixar film. It was so beautifully crafted with an emotional and powerful story that ended so perfectly. It does not need a sequel. It SHOULD NOT HAVE A SEQUEL. But Disney is greedy! And so is Pixar now it seems. Among the live-action remakes, unnecessary sequels, and consistent commitment to not producing any original content, Disney has found the perfect way to farm money for itself. I guarantee that this stems from the successes of Frozen 2 (which I admit I love the music from and the water animation looks amazing in 4K), Inside Out 2 (overrated in my opinion but I understand why people enjoyed it), and Moana 2 (which, unpopular opinion, I liked more than the first). That being said, Coco 2 should never have crossed their minds. It is a finished story. It’s over. Spoilers, but the title character, Coco, is dead. What are they gonna do, revive her? “Somehow, your great-grandma has returned! And also NO MUSIC!”. There are so many Disney and Pixar movies that would be GREAT for sequels. The Princess and the Frog. Tangled. Brave. Big Hero 6. The list goes on. Coco should not. I really hope someone at Disney pulls the plug on that.

One Last Complaint

I will not go in-depth on this but the Shrek 5 teaser was absolutely atrocious.

Other Stuff Going On

Many people don’t know this, but there’s a group of people at UBC running a UBC version of the reality show “Survivor”, and I’m a contestant this season! It started at the end of January with eighteen contestants and we currently have six left, so I’ve made it pretty far. Our next tribal council is tomorrow and I won immunity last challenge, so I will not be getting voted out, meaning I’m guaranteed a spot in the final five. I’ve also made a bunch of great friends from this show and it’s been an awesome experience (aside from the fact that it can take up most of your daily life if you tend to overthink things like I do). But I highly recommend applying for a future season! Just be wary of the liars and backstabbers and genuine terrible people who are also applying for it! Not saying that we have any terrible people in our season, I’ve just heard stories. Also not saying that we don’t, though…*eyes emoji again*

As someone who is not a fan of Survivor or reality TV in general, it’s a really great place to meet new people and make friends. I have made so many new friends this year in so many different places, from UBC Survivor to the AMS Elections. It’s awesome!

Advice for making new friends

Just get out there and do new things! Try new experiences! Be yourself and have fun! It’s really not that serious. I’ve been doing things that I never thought I would do, and I’ve made so many genuine connections with people. Not just the type of friends who you’re only friends with during whatever shared thing you’ve got going on, but actual, genuine friends. I never thought I’d make friends when I decided to run as Nobody in the AMS Elections, but just earlier today I was playing board games with Quyen, Eve, Dredyn, and their respective partners (shoutout Tia as she’s the only one I have yet to shoutout) and we had an amazing time! At least I did. I hope they all did too. 

Riley x Dredyn

It felt wrong to not mention Riley Huntley in this newsletter, so I figured I’d throw the man a bone and toss him in as a little cameo. A surprise cameo in a small role! Take notes, Marvel. I suggested as a joke to Quyen that I could write a Riley x Dredyn fanfic for this newsletter and they loved the idea, but alas I decided against it as Dredyn is a chill dude and I don’t think he’d appreciate it. I do know he’d find it funnier than Riley would though…*eyes emoji for the last time*

In Conclusion

That’s it from me for today. It’s almost 9 PM and that was the deadline given to me by Quyen, so it’s about time I wrap this up. Thank you all for sticking through this newsletter with all its run-on sentences and the plethora of other grammatical errors. I wonder if Quyen will edit it. I guess we’ll find out! I very much enjoyed being a guest on this newsletter and I hope someone out there enjoyed my random ramblings, too.

Back to you, Quyen.

Other News

Sorry, Tony! No edits from me. Just added a couple links for context. And I thought board games was great fun, too!

If you want a guest spot on the Nightly Buzz, drop me a line. No AMS. You’ve got to write about random stuff you’re passionate about. And you can’t write something that would get me canceled by the woke mob, kay?

Anyways, on to my random bullshit:

Assorted Heroes: Road Trip Out Now

Friend of the show Tony Kulenovik just released a super heroes film named Assorted Heroes: Road Trip. I went to the premiere and I can confirm it low key kinda slaps. I honestly had a very good time and thought it was very funny. I was unironically slapping my knee at multiple points in the film. I also was really pleasantly surprised by the fight choreography and special effects.

You folks should check it out. There’s a Pea Man cameo!

Regrets

In the previous issue of The Nightly Buzz, a number of apparent links in the main story did not lead to an actual webpage, a result of drafting the session summaries in Obsidian. The Nightly Buzz regrets this error.

I also regret not making an AirPods and Environmental History joke during the campaign (the real ones get this reference).

Ubyssey Spoof Issue Kinda Goes

(you can read at least some of it before it goes live if you know where to look)

Women really are underrepresented in the Frat field. Too many frat boys not enough frat girls frfr. Also glad we’ll finally be hearing from SRC North. I really needed advice from a building.

From the Web

• I’m the Canadian who was detained by Ice for two weeks. It felt like I had been kidnapped (The Guardian). Not to forward from Sam Low’s Mastodon, but oops I am forwarding from Sam Low’s Mastodon.

• Two-day strike for Palestine sees bus loop blocked, Koerner Library occupied (The Ubyssey). I love how the university doesn’t let journalists do journalism :). It’s so cool and based. Anyways, I’m glad this article says that the student strike referendum passed on March 17, it’d be awkward if it said March 14.

• Play to Find Out, S1E1: Skyrealms of Jorune (Quinns Quest on YouTube). If you’re into Nerd Shit™, Quinns runs a game of an old TTRPG (if Dungeons and Dragons is Kleenex then TTRPG is facial tissue)! I know a fair amount about the history of the TTRPG hobby, and I had no idea about the existence of Skyrealms of Jorune. Which is probably a good thing! It looks like… so incredibly much. But fun to watch!

• Assorted Heroes: Road Trip (Stupid Monkey Comics on YouTube). I really think you should at least give it a shot!

From the Archives (?)

Honestly this one isn’t even that old, but in honour of The Ubyssey’s spoof issue releasing soon, here’s an article from a previous year’s spoof! It’s before my time, which is kind of like it being archived. If I wasn’t here when it happened, it’s old and in the archive :D.

That’s All!

I’m writing this before I’ve received the main story from Tony, but I’m sure it’s great! There was a really wild idea he mentioned that I really hope he went with because it would be completely unhinged (he didn’t go with it. listen, I am not brave enough to write + publish Dredyn x Riley fan fiction. But I could publish it if someone else wrote it).

Next issue? I think we’ll be designing some retainers for the tabletop roleplaying game Draw Steel!

Until Wednesday at 10:03 pm, buzz on my busy bees!