Within the past few months, some TTRPG campaigns I’ve been playing in have spun up, and I am ambitiously trying to keep a wiki of both of them. However, I have fallen behind. But I realized that I have forced writing time in the form of this newsletter, so I figured I’d write some session recaps and also use those as today’s main story!

Main Story

We’ve got two session summaries for you, each for a different campaign. The first is for Darken the Skies, which is a fairly standard fantasy game. So far, we’ve basically been transporting some villagers to safety across a spooky scary faerie forest. The second is for Uniquely Mortal Needs (absolutely banger campaign name), which is a Space Fantasy campaign with plane hopping, evil multi-national corporations, governments who give massive defence contracts to aforementioned evil multi-national corporations, and laser guns!

Both of those links go to my wiki for each of the campaigns. They haven’t been updated with these most recent recaps yet (and Darken the Skies has been neglected for far too many sessions), since I’ve got to link them and update the related articles. But if you want to peek, I’m very happy with the wikis :D. Putting my silly little comp sci degree to use.

(also technically both wikis have an RSS feed, but I think it’s broken so I’ve gotta get in there and fix it at some point)

Darken the Skies (Session 5: Carnage Rampage)

Having succeeded in bringing the Mossy Brook Refugees to Foverhome and taking a couple days' rest, The Party plans to continue onward--toward Rhovea and later to Apogee. Sybil Terique--seeking a reagent that would allow her to forge a lifesapping whip--has learned of a group of gnoll bandits that camp along the path The Party would take. Seeking to lightning-zap two stones with one storm, The Party plans to set off ahead of the Mossy Brook Refugees, hoping to clear the path before bringing the relatively defenceless refugees with them. They prepare the refugees as they have previously--including an attempt to inspire Percy Tanner to bravers--before they leave.

The Party surveys the forest, piecing together the previous raids the band of gnolls had carried out the travellers of the road. Finding tracks and a bearing, they set off towards the bandits' camp. On the way, however, they come face to face with a gnoll patrol who seem less interesting in talking and more interesting in devouring the party's blood and bodies.

Once the gnoll patrol is defeated, the party tends to their wounds and prepares a contingency--a trap filled with gnoll bodies that might distract their pursuers in the event of a retreat. With that done, the party continues the remainder of the way to the gnoll camp, arriving unnoticed. They set an ambush and plan to focus fire on the Gnoll Carnage that leads the bandits, hoping to flee with the Carnage's stomach bile without needing to whittle down the entire pack. This does not go to plan.

As Mhôrro marches into the center of the camp, the ravenous pack of gnolls swarms on him, ripping into him with claws and jaws. Even as the strategy shifts to protect Mhôrro, the party is able to whittle down the Carnage and eventually kill them... only for another gnoll to succumb to the endless hunger of the Carnage, transforming into them. Despite every member of the party coming an inch within death, they manage to pull through, dispatching every remaining gnoll. They tend to their wounds, loot the camp, and return to the Mossy Brook Refugees.

Uniquely Mortal Needs (Session 3: The Endless Wilds)

The party awakes from a plane-hopping, ground-collision induced unconsciousness on the backs of cat-sized insectoids. Tar freaks the fuck out, causing the insectoids to surround her in a defensive position. Using the opportunity of the distraction, Sir Zedledev of Searing Truth flew to Kayzyxx the Unkneeling, pulling her out of the reach of the insectoids and into the branches of the massive trees around them.

For a tense moment, the termite-like creatures encircle Tar and climb the tree towards Kay and Zed, but as they do, a flying termite approaches wearing a sash that holds various pouches filled with reagants. They click at the party for a moment before consuming one of the reagants, allowing them to communicate. The flying termite--referring to itself as "this one" to not form an identity outside of the colony--informs the party that they are being transported to Kalva Kuras, a massive colony of Baneris Termites. As guests for now...

The party continues their march alongside the impossibly long line of Baneris Termites that stretches as far as the eye can see. After much time, the party arrives at Kalva Kuras where they are greeted by a human Corfyr Turfhart. Corfyr originally lived in a mysterious mundane plane known as Ilderterra though now stays with the Baneris Termites as an honoured guest. They told the party that--if they wish to have the colony's aid in returning to The Tattered Reach--they would be wise to seek an audience with Akra Rasedes. He suggested offering to aid in the metallic plague: an influx in animals augmented by metal who wield hard-light weaponry.

Over the course of 3 days the party rests in Kalva Kuras as they enchant weaponry, spar with the termites and each other, research the upcoming encounter with the metallic plague, and learn the recipe for the sludge vomit that passes as food in the colony. Also, they name the flying termite who met with them Vince. Before long, the queen Akra Rasedes invites the party for an audience where they make their case. Though the threat of being eaten on the spot hangs over them, The Party manages to convince Akra Rasedes to lend them some aid in being transported to a site of this incursion and to promise that--should they be successful--they will be flown to a rift back to The Tattered Reach.

With that settled, the party sets off on termite back, setting down outside a foggy riverbed. They maneuver through the area, staying vigilant for the creature they know to be in the area. At a sufficiently dramatic moment, the fog parts revealing... a mother fucking cyborg t-rex with mother fucking laser guns. Fucking metal. The party gets sufficiently beat to shit by the mother fucking cyborg t-rex with mother fucking laser guns, but eventually defeats it--in no small part thanks to the constant divine judgment of Sir Zedledev of Searing Truth.

Other News

HELLO SAM LOW’S MASTODON!!!! :DDDDDDDD

Fuck the Reddit Astroturfers

Y’all looked great in the press vests. Absolutely ate. Don’t listen to them you folks are slaying.

AMS COUNCIL LASER TAG

It’s going to be this Saturday from 11pm to 6 am. In Richmond. They are renting out the whole place. Apparently the AMS is catering though? Specifically energy drinks? I want to go :(. Riley can I have an invite?

From the Web

• Wil Wheaton’s It’s Story Time. The inimitable Wil Wheaton (of Tabletop/wilwheaton.net/Star Trek fame) has a new podcast where he narrates short stories! On today’s episode, Wil read “Rock, Paper, Scissors, Love, Death” by Caroline M. Yoachim. It’s a time travel love story! ‘Twas a very fun time, y’all should check it out.

• AMS Elections After Action Report. Potentially the last time Barry “Bee” Buzzword will be in The Ubyssey. We had a good run! Plus a free Palestine is 18.5x more popular than Barry. Which—dare I say—based of the UBC student body.

• The Ubyssey’s AMS Council Microblogs. They are now on Bluesky! Yahooo. They don’t have a separate Ubussy news vs main ubussy accounts though. And I think UbysseyHumour council live tweets are dead, unfortunately. They were low key the second best part of council after the free food. I think they should be brought back, especially for the spicy meetings.

• Ubyssey Sneaking Back Onto Instagram. I think it’s cool and normal how a not-newspaper has to sneak back onto a social media site because they have been completely blocked. Anyways, just reminds me that I should actually get ubussy.ca to redirect to The Ubyssey so it’s possible to share links on that website.

• Assorted Heroes: Road Trip Trailer. Friend of the show, Tony Kulenovic (he played Nobody this election season) has a film premiering this Saturday! Y’all should check out the trailer!

• The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans. I mean… surely you folks know about this, but the actual article slaps so hard. 10/10 would recommend. Speaking of journalists in group chats…

From the Archive

I’m just fascinated by how the UBC community has reacted to various historical events over the years. This is from the September 14, 2001 issue:

That’s All!

This is fun. I’m having a great time with this silly little newsletter. I can’t believe you folks actually open it and read/skim/skip my unedited ramblings about whatever I want to yap about. Anyways, I feel like you deserve a break from my writing. So next issue, we’re having a guest come on for our main story! None other than Tony Kulenovic! What’s he writing about? I have no idea. Hopefully not something I’ll regret sending out to y’all.

I wanted to let Eve and Tony write a newsletter during the campaign, but was a little worried that would count as slating. But now we’re no longer campaigning! So it’s no more illegal than continuing to run this newsletter.

Until Sunday at 10:03 pm, buzz on, my busy bees!