The Ubyssey and I Made a Baby

Provocative title, I know. Don't worry, the opinion piece has been relegated to other news. You'll get a quirky TTRPG first impressions as the main story!

We’re here, right on time baby! I started writing this yesterday because I’m so incredibly smart. Please, please. Don’t feel the need to e-transfer me money to show your appreciation. (don’t worry, I’m procrastinating actual responsibilities)

The real big news of the day is that an opinion piece I worked on with fellow joke candidates /u/sasamats and Nobody (Eve and Tony respectively) is out now! I’m really happy with it. I yap about it a bit more in the Other News section.

I’ve been doing some reading on new TTRPGs and I figured I’d write some stuff about the one I’m reading right now: The Wildsea.

The Wildsea

In The Wildsea, you play as a crew of sailors in a post-apocalyptic world where nature and greenery have overtaken the world. Your ships sail atop the canopy of massive trees, navigating between what specs of civilization remains.

The Wildsea is not primarily a fighting-monsters game (like D&D and Pathfinder). You don’t have hit points in the traditional sense. When you’d be damaged, you can take injuries (so you could for example suffer the Spore lung injury, which will make physical exertion more difficult). But more likely, you will mark a track on a piece of equipment or one of your traits. For example, if you are a machine-person with the Towering trait and you get clotheslined by a stray tree branch, you can mark your Towering trait (perhaps representing some of the machinery on you being knocked off). Once you mark Towering 5 times, you lose access to the trait (at least until you put some narrative effort in to regain it).

This is the entirety of this trait. You can just apply it whenever it would be relevant

I think this is a super fun and cool sounding way to represent damage outside of just a number going down. The damage is concretized (in taking away the cool shit you can do).

You can also play as some really cool fellas. There’s a cactus person. And like… manta ray people. And fungi people. And human people. And people that are just A SWARM OF SPIDERS. It’s rad. Also there are some dope ass fantasy ships in here:

It’s like a motorcycle. But a CHAINSAW.

I have no idea what’s happening on this ship, but it looks to be made out of a big tree branch and is rad as fuck.

Fantasy ships are always so freaking cool

As you follower know, I’m running a Pathfinder 2e campaign right now which is close to wrapping. I’m hoping that once it does, I’ll run a bunch of RPGs more like the Wildsea for shorter lengths of time (my current pathfinder campaign is like almost 30 months old). Like for 4-8 sessions. I’m looking forward to games that really mix things up and inspire me and my players to really push the storytelling aspects of TTRPGs.

Other News

We ran for AMS President as joke candidates. Here’s why.

We done did an opinion piece for The Ubyssey! Check it out! We worked really hard on it!

I’m really really happy with it. Eve and Tony absolutely slapped with their sections. And Spencer was incredible to work with. I submit his edits made the piece like 5 times better. There was genuinely so much that it was possible for me to say and his feedback helped narrow it down to something contained and cohesive. So big ups Spencer.

Anyways, I got to be on the homepage of Ubyssey.ca :D. I can die happy now.

They did me dirty cropping out the bee I was holding and putting me in grayscale

Reddit :/

Now that the opinion piece is out, it’s been posted to Reddit. Let me say, it’s wild to watch the post go from +21 upvotes to 0 upvotes between 10:03 am and 10:11 am. I’m sure that happened super naturally, and everyone who downvoted was a real actual person who read the piece. And not just some charismatic burner accounts.

I think I’m very very funny, thanks for asking

They wanted… hornier???

Apparently, my problem in wooing The Ubyssey was that… I wasn’t horny enough? I can adapt if that’s what y’all need.

“Whenever I see your sheets on campus, I just want to spread you in front of the whole class”

From the Archive

We’re going way back. This poem is from the first issue of The Ubyssey.

Can we get some investigative journalism in the form of a poem @ubyssey

Special mention to this illustration:

I have no idea why you exist little baby, but you’re amazing.

That’s All!

You nerds are wild for still sticking around, but I appreciate it. So much so that I actually got this done on time. A novel concept, I know.

Anyways, one last time I want to plug the opinion article we wrote. Eve, Tony, and I worked really hard on it. And Spencer did an amazing job making sure it all came together and sounded good. Big thanks to all of you folks.

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