Mid-Newsletter Crisis

Yay we survived the mountains. It went almost exactly as I described in the previous newsletter, which is silly and funny. I did get absolutely bullied by allergies and horseflies, but it was very fun and pretty.

Also we did our little Shakespeare final this morning. It went…. fine, I guess. Honestly not sure how to feel about how I did because I wasn’t super sure about what was expected of me, but that’s how it be sometimes.

Anyways, I’m kinda free from homework (except Ubyssey stuff) for like the next 8-12 months which is wild. Well, and the homework that is this newsletter.

I don’t think there’s really a main story this time. I’m kinda thinking of scaling down/rethinking the newsletter. It’s taking more from the than it’s giving. It’s become more of a stressor than anything, and I feel like we’ve exhausted everything interesting about me that I’m willing to share on the internet.

Like I’ve written a bunch of newsletters that I haven’t sent just since they feel too personal? Like I had one drafted today about setting a theme for this next year (it’s going to be Cope with and Manage Stress Healthily), and it just felt a bit too real. Too much Quyen, not enough Newsletter!Quyen, you know? Like talking about how my focus in second year was on Improving my Relationship with my Body. Just… it feels like a bummer to do all the set up for that. (Skipping to the end though: I did feel a lot better about my body after second year! Estrogen is the bestrogen.)

Or I’ve had what I think is a really good piece about my boots — and the people who gifted them to me — mostly done. But it’s just so embroiled in my whole self-esteem thingy that I don’t really want to send it out to 51 of my closest friends, three of which are Sam Low. I like a bit more of a dissonance between the character I play online and the actual me. But the writer me wants to see actual me’s blood and tears on the page. I don’t think this metaphor is holding up…

It’s also like… you folks are a tough demographic lmao. Like if you were all Draw Steel nerds, that’s all I’d write about. But I feel like I owe you a bit of variation. And I’m not a spew ideas out a mile a minute kinda girl, so I feel like I only get a better-than-decent newsletter once every two weeks or so. (And here is where I regret that I went with Twice-Weekly Daily Nightly Buzz instead of the Biweekly Daily Nightly Buzz. Also shout out all the bi folks on this newsletter :D.)

I know I want to last it out until the six-month anniversary of the Twice-Weekly Daily Nightly Buzz. But after that… I dunno. Things might change. Multiple months ago, I read Saskia’s substack (Saskia wrote an opinion piece for The Ubyssey) — and it was way better than everything here :D. If I’m being a real goober, I might force you folks to suffer through some of the nerdshit fiction I write. (Nothing will probably come of this, but while I was in the mountains I came up with a magipunk superhero team that I think would be fun to write scenes for :D.) More than anything, I just need to develop a theory of what gets published on the Buzz.

Things just on my mind about this newsletter. We’re not done yet, that’s for sure. But changes likely coming down the pike. Thanks to all of you for joining me for all of this so far. These past 5 months have been really special. Not exclusively because of this newsletter, but the whole… everything. I’m really glad my partner and boyfriend got the nomination signatures I was too anxious to get :D. If they didn’t I wouldn’t have been able to play Draw Steel with the inimitable Sam Low :p

Until Sunday at 10:03 pm, buzz on, my busy bees!

Gooner Lake since 2025